Understanding the Four Immeasurables and Their Near and Far Enemies
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Description
The Near and Far Enemies of Equanimity
The Near and Far Enemies of Loving Kindness
The Near and Far Enemies of Compassion
The Near and Far Enemies of Sympathetic Joy
The Four Immeasurables, also called the Four Boundless Qualities, and the Four Brahmaviharas are the Buddhist virtues of Equanimity, Loving Kindness, Compassion, and Sympathetic Joy. Each virtue is accompanied by a practice. Together, they help us cultivate and feel connection. Shamata and Vipassana practice help us to see reality, the Four Immeasurables help us to feel our interconnected reality.
As though having three different titles isn't confusing enough, each Immeasurable also has a Near and Far Enemy. Here they are in summary. Keep reading for detailed explanations!
The Near and Far Enemies of the Four Immeasurables, by Lama Tsomo
The Near and Far Enemies of Equanimity
Near Enemy: Indifference
Far Enemy: Hatred
Practice: Three-minute Introductory Shamata and Vipassana Practice with Lama Tsomo.
We begin with Equanimity . This seems distinct and clear enough. We practice Equanimity to expand our feeling of warm, caring connection to all beings, equally strong for every one of them. Its Far Enemy is an equally clear opposite. It's that Buddhist classic, Attraction/Aversion–in other words, Preference. If we feel preference for some people over others—my brother, my friend, my ally—we're obviously not practicing Equanimity. And if we are annoyed, angered, repulsed by some people, then we’re obviously not practicing Equanimity, either.
Of course, we all do feel preferences for some people over others. We feel attraction and love for some, and aversion toward others. This just means that we're not buddhas yet, and we could do with some Equanimity practice. The good news is that it's fairly obvious that when we're feeling this Far Enemy, we're far away from Equanimity. By definition, any of the Boundless Qualities and its Far Enemy can't co-exist in our minds. They're opposites. So, when we feel Preference, we're clearly not feeling Equanimity, and vice versa.
Sometimes in my psychotherapy practice, a client would insult or accuse me during a therapy session. I could handle it with Equanimity; after the session I didn't think about it again. Though I certainly cared about the person–I came to love every one of my clients–I wasn't feeling strong Desire or Aversion toward them. On the other hand, if a family member or enemy were to say the same thing, I might very well be hurt or furious. The incident would live on in my head, causing me consternation every time I thought about it. And if someone I am especially close to does something particularly nice for me, I may feel more strongly motivated to nurture their well-being than I am the well-being of the ones who insulted me.
As we all know, love and hate are very close: intense feelings toward someone who is a central figure in our mental and emotional landscape. In either case—feeling hate toward anyone, or feeling love to the exclusion of, and to the detriment of, others—we would be in the territory of the Far Enemy of Equanimity. It was the Desire or Aversion driving us to express our anger or our gratitude that brought on the loss of Equanimity. Though this Far Enemy can be a real struggle to work with, its advantage is that at least it's obvious.
The Near Enemy is less dramatic and less obvious. The Near Enemy of Equanimity is Indifference. You can fall into Indifference and stay there for a long time, rather smug that you're feeling Equanimity … but you're not.
Indifference is dressed in Equanimity's "clothing," but it feels different. It also has a different effect. "I don't care" is not the same as "I care deeply, equally, and inclusively."
Until his Christmas Eve epiphany, Ebenezer Scrooge treated everyone with equal indifference (he didn't care that it was Christmas, he didn't care that Tiny Tim was ill, he didn't care that his long-time business partner had died, he didn't care about the poor), but he wasn't practicing Equanimity.
That's still rather obvious, but there are much less obvious examples. How many times have you found yourself or others feeling pleased that they're not upset by the angst around them? Or perhaps in our Equanimity practice we notice we don't lean too far toward the people we prefer, congratulating ourselves on our restraint. If we look closely, though, we might be practicing Indifference rather than Equanimity. The exercise has become theoretical, and the feeling sense is lost altogether. Though it can look like Equanimity, it serves to separate us from the objects of our Indifference rather than join us in strong feelings of love.
Let's take the practice of Tonglen, for example. In this case, Equanimity means feeling equally Compassionate toward whomever we're thinking of (and as you'll recall, by the end of the practice we're usually thinking quite inclusively.) The word "compassion", from the Latin, literally means, "to suffer with."
When we start Tonglen practice, we develop the strong, passionate desire to take away the loved one's suffering and to replace it with ultimate, lasting joy. The feeling is so strong that we're often in tears, though often smiling at the same time, as we bring them ultimate, lasting happiness on the outbreath. Then we step that same compassionate feeling out to all beings, thus bringing Compassion together with Equanimity. This is what makes it a Boundless (instead of measured, with a boundary or limit) Quality. This is hardly Indifference. But beware, because Indifference can creep into your practice in all of the Four Boundless Qualities, not just with Compassion. That is exactly why the Buddha emphasized this distinction.
For any of the Four Boundless Qualities to be truly beyond measure, we have to feel each of them intensely, and without bias. That's why Rinpoche always tells us to practice Equanimity first. I apply it to all the Boundless Qualities while I'm practicing them, stepping the rings out to include all sentient beings. That's why I begin close in to those for whom I can easily feel strongly. That primes the pump of caring and connection and helps protect me from falling into Indifference. That allows my Love and Compassion to roll out strongly to all beings, with equal force. My feeling of loving connection increasingly approaches Boundless.
Imagine if we all felt as much love and compassion for everyone as we do for our best friend. How would the world look? Really play that out in your mind a bit right now.
Now imagine what would happen to your own tight grip on your identity—your ego—if you felt that strongly for everyone. How would you then feel about giving your spot in the checkout line to someone who seemed to be in even more of a hurry than you were?
Continue reading here.
Notes
